“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
― Ambrose Bierce
Blind rage got you seeing red at the simplest things? Anger is a normal, usually healthy emotion. However when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems at work and in your personal relationships, reducing the overall quality of your life. The result is that you often feel out of control with the emotion taking you captive. A natural way of expressing anger is to respond aggressively which often triggers powerful feelings and behaviours, allowing us to fight and defend ourselves when we perceive an attack or threat.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. Those who constantly put others down, criticize everything and make cynical comments have not learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they are not likely to have many successful relationships. It is important to understand your individual threshold to identify what you can and cannot handle so as to avoid losing your cool.
Anger can be suppressed. In fact it can also be converted and redirected. By this you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The result is more constructive behaviour. This motion is the beginnings of exercising emotional intelligence. The danger in this type of response is that if not allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward (on yourself) causing physical disorders such as hypertension, high blood pressure, or even depression. Determining how to deal with a situation that has triggered your anger is a personal choice.
Whilst keeping your anger in check may be a challenge, some suggestions include:
1. Take time to diffuse your temper and think before you speak. Things said in the heat of the moment are often regretted.
2. Once calm, express your anger in an assertive, non-confrontational way.
3. Be a problem solver. Change a negative situation by working towards constructive resolution.
4. Take the first step to forgiveness. Sometimes agreeing to disagree or simply letting go of an issue can unburden you immediately.
5. Speak to someone neutral. Often all we need is an independent listener to give us a different perspective to a situation which may change how we feel.
6. Exercise and relieve stress through relaxation. Physical activity is a healthy means of redirecting your energy as is the immediate benefit of calming down and breathing deeply.
Read more on anger
Do you need support and assistance in how to manage your Anger?
Click here.